DEMOCRATS: "TEHRE WAS A BETTER GAZA DEAL"

In the strategy office

Following the recent announcement of Donald and Bibi’s Gaza Bay Resort, we reached out to the Democrats for their thoughts. Do they see this shift in Middle Eastern policy as a disaster?

We spoke with Democratic strategy expert Amanda Bloodlust.

THE SKEWED: Amanda, thanks for taking the time to speak with us today. We know you have a lot on your plate, so let’s get straight to it. Wasn’t the situation in Gaza already unsustainable, especially over the past year?
Amanda: Look, politics is all about compromise. The Palestinians wanted to live in their homeland, and the Israeli government didn’t want them to live. Over the past decades, we managed to find a middle ground.

THE SKEWED: But that resulted in thousands of deaths.
Amanda: Sure, the world isn’t perfect. Expecting otherwise would be naïve. From our perspective, this was a win-win situation—both sides were acknowledged, and our defense industry remained profitable.

THE SKEWED: Wouldn’t that be more of a lose-lose situation for the Palestinians and, well, human rights in general?
Amanda: We prefer to look at things positively. The glass is half full, you know …

THE SKEWED: But you’re unhappy with this latest development?
Amanda: Yes, it’s unfortunate—especially since, up until now, we could at least somewhat credibly invoke human rights on the international stage. As a strategist, I’m simply losing a talking point here.

THE SKEWED: Understandable … Do you see any shared responsibility for this outcome? After all, the Harris campaign could have been more successful, and then this wouldn’t be an issue.
Amanda: We conducted a thorough analysis and concluded that the voters were to blame. They made their choice, after all.

THE SKEWED: But as a political “service provider,” wouldn’t it have been your job to present your position in a way that convinced people to vote for you?
Amanda: Have you ever run a campaign? No? Well then, there you go—how would you know?

THE SKEWED: Alright. You mentioned that your previous approach to the Middle East was based on compromise. What exactly would that have meant for future U.S.-backed military operations by the Israeli army?
Amanda: Smaller bombs.